Monday, June 20, 2011

Eye to Eye...

this weekend I was at the birthday party of a friend (TAB - in the disabled world means temporarily able-bodied... the temporary is a new phrasing...)... I was the only wheeler there, but have known some of the folks for quite a while.... so it's not quite so awkward.... actually we left my wheelchair in the car ( I can walk short distances with a cane and occasional assistance) because I found it tends to repel people... more w/c = less interaction.... I can't explain it, but I've learned it....

I exchanged some happy greetings with those I knew, including the birthday woman, and had some conversation while seated in your standard backyard chair (with stealth I search out the arm chairs as they help with balance).... people sat next to me, many were artists as well and we talked the usual artist talk and it was fun...

There were guests along the food table talking, some I wanted to say 'hi' to but the challenge was that with my disability it's very difficult for me to stand for a length of time (within 10 minutes my legs will give out)... so unless it's a particulary strong day, I rarely try ... the clumsiness of having to say "Excuse me but I need to sit down" while someone is deep in conversation about their latest relationship/painting/ sculpture or... derails the energy of the contact....

Sometimes I sit quietly, when people do stop to say hi... they are standing and I'm not... and their goes that wonderful energy of mutuality.... and people, in general, are programmed not even to see a child height adult...

it's challenging and well-known among those with disabilities who deal with it.... just imagine talking to the store manager over a problem when he's 2-3 feet taller than you are.... it can be tough to make a point...

A few years ago I attended a focus group on a fancy w/c that could do some amazing tricks.... but every person in the group fixated on this chair's ability to rise in the air to normal height....
you could actually roll down the street at 5-6 feet tall... we were swooning....
the product we reviewed was never marketed, but the vendor broke confidentiality so taken by our swooning and today you can buy for about $20,000 a wheelchair that makes you the size of an adult... wow... now that might make things a bit different....

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